• Darko Jelisavac

Through the Years





I got married on September 18th, 1999 at Snowbird Ski and Summer Resort in Little Cottonwood Canyon, Utah. As part of the reception, my Dad and I danced to the song, "Through the Years" by Kenny Rogers. It's also the same year I discovered my yoga practice.

I can't remember when you weren't there When I didn't care for anyone but you I swear we've been through everything there is Can't imagine anything we've missed Can't imagine anything the two of us can't do

Just a few weeks ago, I went to see Arjuna, my Sivananda Yoga teacher at an ashram in the Bahamas. Every time I go to the Bahamas, I am reminded of many family vacations spent there. My Mom and Dad took us there as kids. It always feels familiar, although many things have changed.

Through the years, you've never let me down You turned my life around, the sweetest days I've found I've found with you... through the years I've never been afraid, I've loved the life we've made And I'm so glad I've stayed, right here with you Through the years

I climbed into the SUV hired to take me to the airport. The driver, Eric (my brother's name), was pleasant and attentive as we got onto the highway. All of a sudden, I hear Kenny's voice drifting from the speakers. I listened, REALLY listened to the lyrics, I cannot remember the last time I heard them, it takes me back to my wedding day and my Dad. Grief envelops me, a lump forms in my throat, my eyes fill with tears. I fumble to find my sunglasses, only to find I've forgotten them. Instead, I reach for my coffee, I take sips hoping it will disguise the quivering of my lower lip. I lean back, let the song take me where it will.

I can't remember what I used to do Who I trusted, whom I listened to before I swear you've taught me everything I know Can't imagine needing someone so But through the years it seems to me I need you more and more

After I land in the Bahamas, I walk outside into the warm air, squint due to my lack of sunglasses, and request a taxi to take me to the Straw Market. I remember going there as a little girl, my sister and I loved to buy dolls and small purses made from straw and shells in classic Bahamian design. It still sells everything, I will be able to purchase some cheap sunglasses there. The ground transportation officer directs me to a white minivan, "Get in that one, they will make a stop first, then Cheryl will take you downtown".

Through the years, through all the good and bad I knew how much we had, I've always been so glad To be with you ... through the years It's better every day, you've kissed my tears away As long as it's okay, I'll stay with you

I jump in the passenger seat of the minivan and say "hello" to Cheryl, the Bahamian driver, and the couple in the backseat. After exchanging some pleasantries, we are on our way. As we leave the airport behind, Kenny's voice comes from the radio.

Through the years, when everything went wrong Together we were strong, I know that I belonged Right here with you... through the years I never had a doubt, we'd always work things out I've learned what love's about, by loving you Through the years

Cheryl sings along, she has a beautiful, rhythmic voice. Instead of sadness washing over me, I feel playful, happy and free. I start to sing with her. She looks over at me, smiles, turns up the radio and lowers the windows. We sing together, joyful and lighthearted. We laugh afterwards like old friends. I feel connected: to the present moment, to the past, to the Bahamas, to my Dad and to yoga. I realize I am exactly where I'm supposed to be.